Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
