please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
