Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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