Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I would fuck him just for his dog
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
