he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
