all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.