2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Your face is a jimmy john
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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