im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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