ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
