Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
