Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
