so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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