I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
