I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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