I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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