So drunk its hurt
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
