Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
