Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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