Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
