yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize