Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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