I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
