pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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