I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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