Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
