And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
