STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
