Me. At least after what I've been through.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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