i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
