dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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