haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
