I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
