4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
