He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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