"it" just moved
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
