oh god the rape fog is back!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
