wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
