Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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