I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
These tits shall not be calmed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize