I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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