I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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