Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
