and you said cock pushups were impossible
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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