she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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