these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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