Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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