i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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