I think I am morally bankrupt
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
