Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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