Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
