he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
