love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
