I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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