dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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