R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
